


i have never loved someone

by bbeverly



Category: Tiny Meat Gang (Band)
Genre: F/F, Princess AU, but fuck it, cody and noel are mentioned, i did this for iz and it's really not that good, idk if this will have more parts, knight!aleena, princess!kelsey, they're not really... IN it per se
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:15:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22536877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bbeverly/pseuds/bbeverly
Summary: sometimes a babbling brook is a good place to think things through, other times you need to walk to your campsite to see your knight encompassed in the golden glow of a fire to feel whole again.
Relationships: Aleena (Tiny Meat Gang)/Kelsey Kreppel, Cody Ko/Noel Miller
Comments: 9
Kudos: 18





	i have never loved someone

**Author's Note:**

> i just wanted to write some girls kissing so here we are !
> 
> this is for iz, ilu

The brook the princess sat beside moved languidly, babbling softly when the silence in her head grew too loud for her own comfort. Generally, when sitting alone beside a babbling brook, one tends to talk about their issues aloud. These individuals are usually lonely, craving the response of the water with every fibre of their person.

“Yes,” one might say.

“Of course,” they may follow with.

“I’m a princess, not a fool!” One could exclaim, then quickly lower their voice in case something was lurking in the shadows of the woodland.

One may even suggest: “Maybe I just wasn’t meant to be a queen, Cody ran off to… somewhere… with… someone,” kept vague because even brooks can spill over on the wrong people, “so I think I reserve the right to do the same!”

At some point, one would have to acknowledge the lonesomeness and realise that speaking to a stream of water was not a constructive replacement for human contact. Though, at least nobody could feel strongly toward the steady flow of water.

The brook’s companion sighed, playing with the locket around her neck. She briefly wondered if her father would make her get rid of it. After all, what good was a princess with the locket gifted by her captor?

She laughed, pulling the charm back and forth across its golden chain. Captor. She’d hardly describe Cody as such, fleeing had been a mutual decision but of course, she must be the damsel in distress. Her mindless fiddling popped the locket open and she glanced at the inscription within:

> _ Kelsey, _
> 
> _ Find a rose just as sweet. _

Her eyes began to water, mimicking the stream the way they wavered in her vision. She was lonely. She wasn’t sure of her current companion’s stance on it, fleeing that is.

-

When running with Cody she had someone by her side who shared her will. The will to be free, to remove the shackles of the life neither truly wanted. When he handed her the dagger from his bag after she had only asked once. She craved that sense of trust again, the weightlessness that came after she cut her hair crudely and without care.

She wanted the laughter, as Cody held the chunks of hair to the side of his own head.

“Do you think if I used your hair I could masquerade as a girl and live my unbothered life with Noel?” He had asked, twirling about to emphasise his point.

Kelsey was doubled over, clutching her stomach in an attempt to catch her breath. “I’m not sure, can you stitch a dressing gown?”

He dropped the locks. “No. So scrap that idea.”

-

Just as softly as the memory resurfaced it left, dropping Kelsey into the present once more. Back to the brook and the moss-softened rock she sat on, to the empty echo of her chest. The knowledge she was being carted off to the life she had tried to leave akin to a festering wound.

She wiped the tears from her eyes, sniffling in an uncivilised manner as she stood and dusted off her pants. As much as she dreaded the thought of heading back to her and her knight’s makeshift campsite she knew she wouldn’t make it if she ran. That’s what Kelsey told herself anyway.

Told herself the only reason she wasn’t jumping over the brook and into the treeline, despite the knife strapped to her thigh and general knowledge of the outskirts of what would become her kingdom, was that she wouldn’t make it. It wasn’t the fact that the knight-  _ Aleena _ , the name had been whispered between them in the dark -captured her attention. Nor was it the way Kelsey’s stomach churned when she spoke.

A princess simply wouldn’t survive on her own.

Feeling complete always seemed a touch out of reach, as if all Kelsey had to do was reach a little further and suddenly she’d no longer be lonely. She found she felt loneliest when her and the knight laid next to one another. With the dark covering them in a blanket of anonymity they could whisper things best kept to themselves. Names and thoughts and dreams. What she could get the knight to say was treasured information. It filled the loneliness with purpose, keeping the secrets safe.

Kelsey made her way back, slowly, tuning her train of thought out. Instead, she brings her focus toward the sound of the wind through the trees and the distant thunder. A promise of a storm to come. Forboding. The sky was darkening with every step she took and by the time she reached the camp, it was practically black. 

As she approached the edge, just clearing the treeline, her heart leapt into her throat. The tight bun of braids that Kelsey had never seen out of place was no longer at the base of the knight’s head. Instead, it was unravelled down, swept over Aleena’s right shoulder and shielding her face from the bright oranges of the fire. She ran her fingers through it, gently untangling knots and working to separate the strands.

With a pulse skyrocketing and the palms of her hands suddenly sweating despite the chill forming in the air, Kelsey hesitated to step forward. This tranquillity she had caught Aleena in felt like something she shouldn’t take for granted. She wanted to live in this moment just a little longer with Aleena backlit by the fire, halo of golden light surrounding her. She looked like an angel.

This wasn’t right, this feeling in her chest. A cavity suddenly full after being empty for so long, it flooded her with a fuzziness she couldn’t quite place. Adoration? Obsession? Longing? Sudden impulsiveness in the back of her mind screaming:  _ love her! Hold her! Kiss her! Dip her in the moonlight and ask her to be yours! _

The fuzziness gave way to panic and she forced herself to move forward in hopes the trance would break. One step forward to stop the highlighted side profile of the knight from following her into her dreams. Another to keep the reflection of her armour out of her mind. A third to break a stick and call Aleena’s attention towards her.

The knight turns to her left, panic flashing across her features. She makes a small sound of surprise before quickly pulling her hair back into some semblance of a bun. She ties the string with the speed of a practised hand, one fueled by the same panic Kelsey felt upon stumbling into this seen, upon seeing her hair down. The backlighting of fire now brighter as Kelsey moves closer.

The knight glows. Kelsey feels her cheeks do the same.

“I- M’lady, I did not see you there, this is… unprofessional at best,” she says, quickly standing and taking a cautious bow, still moving as though she has the armour on. As if it had burrowed under her skin to keep her contained.

Admittedly, it felt like it had. Sometimes it felt like it was suffocating her but she’d make no utterance of discomfort. She would do her job and keep quiet, glancing up at Kelsey once the silence lingered for too long.

They stare at one another before Kelsey’s eyes crinkle in the corner and she  _ laughs _ . She’s covering her mouth with one hand and fanning her face with the other, filling the space between them with a sound Aleena felt she could listen to forever.

Speaking of unprofessional.

She shoved the thought down, rolling her shoulders back. There was no time for that, she had a job to do, a sworn duty to protect the princess at all costs. To be chivalrous and true.  _ But would it be so bad to just tuck a strand of hair behind her ear?  _ Her mind supplied while Kelsey caught her breath.  _ Would it be the death of you both if you merely allowed your shoulder for her to rest on? _

“The, uh, the long.” Kelsey gestures, mimicking the flow of hair. “The long, it suits you. Sort of mysterious.”  _ Beautiful _ .

Aleena furrows her brow, concern etching across her features. “I do not mean to be a mystery, Princess,” she says.

The clip off at ‘Princess’ bounced around Kelsey’s mind. It wasn’t what she thought it was, it wasn’t the soft way Cody called to Noel with a grin on his face. It wasn’t what Aleena had been taught to do to a girl, certainly not the one in her charge. They stared at each other once more, neither seeming to dare to breathe. A standstill.

Kelsey breaks first, walking forward with a regalness that was only taught in castles among crowned jewels. She stops a foot or so in front of Aleena, her face illuminated by flickering orange and yellow. It softens her, warms her, but the blue of her eyes is just as clear as ever.

“‘S not a bad thing, Aleena,” she says, voice softening as she tilts her head to the side. “Do you trust me?”

The question is loaded and Aleena shivers, hoping Kelsey didn’t notice.  _ Do you trust me?  _ She ran away from her duty to an entire kingdom, fled from her home, could take off at any minute if Aleena isn’t careful. It could be the end of everything she’s ever known, a shame to plague her family for generations. It could cost Aleena her knighthood, to lose the princess, to make such a foolish mistake as to turn around solely upon request.

But she knows the risks, spent hours calculating them on the way to retrieve the princess in the first place. They had come so far together. The knight closes her eyes, nodding.

“Yes.”

It falls heavy between them. Yes. Trust and weightlessness, as though Kelsey was going to cut her hair once more. She moves, walking around Aleena until she’s standing behind her. Kelsey’s holding her breath and thinks Aleena is too.

She could run, she knows this. Could grab the bag of supplies just inside of the tent, hop on the back of the horse tethered to a nearby tree and just run. But the feeling she longed for at the brook has made its blessed return-- maybe magic is real. Her hands move forward instead of her feet carrying her away.

Her hands move steady and slow, pulling the string from its tie and watching Aleena’s hair fall free. It cascades gently, waves of brown with golden-tinge by the time spent in the sun. Kelsey exhales softly, watching the way the strands move in the wind.

“I think I want to kiss you.”

Kelsey isn’t sure who says it but she responds anyway, “asking is always the first step. And they say chivalry is dead.”

Chivalry isn’t dead. Chivalry is stored in the knight that was sent by her father to bring her back to the castle she tried so hard to escape. Chivalry is stored in the feeling buzzing in a princess’ chest as she reaches out, giving in to the urge to touch. Her hand landing on Aleena’s shoulder, bare without the armour, warm, scarred by battles.

Chivalry is the way Aleena doesn’t move, doesn’t flinch. She lets Kelsey rest her hand there for a moment, the silence now embued with a certain comfort. Understanding. Neither of them wants to go back, the things that Kelsey left for Aleena thinks she may have found in the princess’ stead. 

Thunder rumbles above them, sporadic drops of rain threatening the fire’s life.

“It’s going to rain, Princess,” Aleena says, contracting her words comfortably to match her company’s.

Kelsey removes her hand, looking down at it as more rain begins to fall. “So it is.”

Aleena moves toward the fire, kicking semi-dampened dirt onto the flames. They extinguish quickly as the rain picks up, sticking strands of hair to the knight’s arms as she packs things up. She’s trying to distract herself, from the looming feeling between herself and the princess.

Unprofessional, not what she’s here for.

“You ought to head into the tent, I don’t see it letting up any time soon,” she says. She turns to face the princess; her face is pointed up to the sky and her arms are outstretched, beckoning the rain into her hold.

The knight stares, won’t deny the way she takes it in. The way the curls hold the rain, the way she laughs even though the raindrops rolling down her cheeks look like tears. Briefly, Aleena thinks they might be just that: tears.

She’d never given it much thought before, about whether or not the princess would be happy with her current circumstances. Kelsey had insisted Aleena let Cody and Noel go when she found the three of them and against better judgement Aleena had agreed. After all her job was merely to collect the princess, not the people who had taken her.

_ Taken _ , the word echoes in her brain.

Kelsey is now looking at her, head tipped to the side as she smiles. Aleena wonders how much longer she has to see that smile, the genuine one that takes home in the crinkles beside the princess’ eyes and the dimples in her cheeks. She’d seen the fake on numerous times. Castle events always seeming to weigh down on her as though it was a burden. Perhaps it was.

Aleena couldn’t fault her for that. She knew how many people would, knew how many would revolt and call the princess selfish for not wanting the crown. Aleena refused to be those people, refused to see Kelsey in that light. In the time spent travelling she knew more of the princess’ dreams than anyone, except perhaps the prince she’d run off with.

“Princess, if you don’t mind my asking, were you really kidnapped?”

The smile on Kelsey’s face morphs into a sad one, her eyes watering with more than just the rain. “No,” she replies. “No, I wasn’t, not until now I think.”

“I-” Aleena stops, wringing her hands in front of her. She’s the one who moves forward now. “I truly am sorry, to have done that, I mean.”

Kelsey shakes her head. “‘S not so bad, you’re only doing what you were told to do and… I think you’re good company. It’s not your fault you got saddled with this position.”

“I’ll have you know I wasn’t saddled with anything, I like what I do and I think I’m damn good at it,” Aleena says, then quiets again feeling as though she crossed a line. She was too much of a smartass for her own good sometimes, her mother used to say. “My apologies, that was far too friendly a response.”

She can feel her face heat up, embarrassed by her own accord and by the mental image of her mother scolding her for her foul language. In front of royalty no less, is what her mother would say before crossing her arms and tutting. Not angry, just disappointed.

“Not at all. Not at all, I like friendly. What’s the point in keeping up appearances as if we’re not just two people. Nobody else is fucking here. Nobody to enforce any kind of hierarchy. We’re the same, we’re just two women standing in the middle of the forest while it rains.”

“I suppose you’re right.”

“I know I am.”

A pause. “Kinda cocky to sing your own praises.”

Kelsey laughs, her face lighting up as lightning cracks across the sky. She beams at Aleena who stares back in awe, not hiding behind any suit of armour now. The princess figures the rain has finally washed it away, rid the knight’s body of any remaining residue her position had left behind. The figuring turns into surety when Aleena’s hand moves up, slowly, resting against her cheek. Her thumb swipes across the dampened cheekbone, taking with it any tears or rain that may have collected there.

She wasn’t sure what it would feel like. Every ball she’s watched from afar in an attempt to avoid her suitors… Nothing she had seen could have prepared her for the tenderness of it all. Every story she’s ever been told, every book she’s smuggled into her room to read never sounded like this. No description could possibly capture the carefulness between the two of them at this moment. 

A kiss unlike any other. An apology whispered under breath when they part. An intake of breath when Kelsey moves in again, not sure what to do with her hands other than resting them gently on Aleena’s hips.

“Thank you,” she says, her eyes wide and lips a soft pink.

Aleena looks puzzled. “For what?”

“This. Understanding me. Seeing me as a person not… not something to be thrown at suitors in hopes of catching a bag.”

Aleena feels her heart catch. Her brain now consumed by this concept of Kelsey the person, not Kelsey the princess. The small part of her mind screams at her to get out of there, to call it a night, to put on her armour and usher the princess to bed so they could continue on their journey back to the castle as soon as dawn breaks. But every other neuron is firing at a rapid pace:  _ stay here with her! Refuse to see her as an untouchable, incorruptible, innocent thing that needs a guiding king’s hand. See her! Feel her! Care for her! _

“I’m gonna teach you how to sword fight tomorrow.”


End file.
